Correct Frequency

I changed the frequency of my white noise to one that blocks out more talking-level noises, slept in my bed in a dark morning room, and set the white noise to automatically turn up volume at 5 30 am. I think it worked

I woke at about half nine for the second day in a row. I didn’t get to sleep till about probably 1 am so Im probably experiencing phase delays even as I manage to sleep in later, and I’m pretty sure I was somewhat concious for the volume change.

Need a redder light for reading. Reading fiction at bedtime is better, makes it less boring to stay awake. Thanks Paul for that idea.

I might also be tired rn because caffeine withdrawal. Let us see.

Also doc said they won’t help till other doc who won’t return my emails discharges me. Booo

Noise Everywhere – Help Me

Seriously: what else can I do, where else can I go. How on earth can I turn off these darn senses that keep waking me up? Everyday I’m woken up by either 1) Movement (a) brother shaking bunk bed / b) footsteps) 2) People speaking 3) Light

1) Movement

Problem: If I sleep on bunk bed in my room, then when my brother gets out to go to school in the morning he shakes it and it invariably wakes me up no matter what. 95% certainty this still applies if I’m on bottom bunk but have not tried out in very long. Also when trying to fall asleep the footsteps of people in the corridor are painfully loud and feel like submachine guns in my ears. (Hyperbole but they are SO distracting). Solution: Sleeping on sofa downstairs. people walking around downstairs doesn’t make as loud footsteps and no brother climbing on bed. Cons: Far more uncomfortable and harder to get to sleep

2) People Speaking

Less of a problem when in my own room, especially because here i have a right for people to not make noise in the morning. Less so downstairs. Problem: 8yo brother and mother getting ready for school each morning shouting about where clothes are and having breakfast and watching TV and being super loud. Attempted solution: Play white noise through bluetooth sleep mask with earplugs but I need to play it so loudly to even approach fully not hearing them and I hear ringing afterwards so I think it’s bad for my ears. 3) Light: Once I wake up from that, the daylight downstairs is super bright and it wakes me up instantly and I can’t fall back asleep. In my own room this is less of a problem due to blackout-y curtains. Maybe I can put these up downstairs? But then family would be annoying about it.

Main idea is: make brother sleep downstairs. Then I get the darkness and quiet and dominion over one room without being awoken by his footsteps and bed shakiness. But him and my mum are gonna be super annoying about this. Incredibly annoying. I hate trying to convince people of things SO MUCH. SO much. Please help, how can I turn off my hearing??? What else can I do? Where else can i go? What solution am I missing? What on earth can I do? I wish I had an empty room in the void to sleep in SO BADLY. I’d pay so much. How can I get that? Please help. I have a horrible relationship with my elder sister and a fairly not great one with my younger sister. — Room available in house:
  1. Me + my brothers bedroom
  2. My sisters bedroom
  3. My mother’s bedroom
  4. The living room
  5. The bathroom
  6. The kitchen
  7. The garden

Did you get any of that?

missed call from doc today

Took 200mg caffoene and felt good and giggly particularly for first half of day. Felt more like myself. Had horrid night last might, felt extremely bad about getting horrible sleep. Brothers footsteps in particular felt like submachine guns. I just need a room or pure silence, how to get it?

Could sleep pleasantly later into morning because room was dark

Took vitamins again, sold on then. Fish oil, vitamin D, creatine, gonna start taking every day again. Iron will vaguely take more often.


Hello all welcome back from three months of silence.

The plan detailed in the previous post worked out great.

But now back on holiday sleep sucky again and no constant social amphetamines to fix it. Besides, I wouldn’t wanna just cover it up in social stuff, because that doesn’t compound. Talking to people is great but it’s not the work that needs to be done.

Am thinking it’s very likely something biochemical is screwed. Gonna ask docs for NUMERICAL results of blood tests. Now I’m 16 I can get these results myself. I have (some) rights.

So I’m waiting on that

Also my fault for postponing sleep at nights though

Day 80: Magic Temp Cure Desperation

I have Very Important Exams in 2 weeks. They last for 2 weeks. I need energy. Am tolerant to like 150mg caffeine, maybe 200.

Caffiene is least-terrifying thing i can imagine getting me through then. 2 weeks is just enough for caffiene tolerance reset (though that means my revision will basically suck.)

Slowly going down on caffiene will take too long. I should just cut it all out.

It’ll screw me and be painful but I think I’m just going to not take my 150mg today and just continue like this for seven days (it’s hardly been helping anyway)


Day 7x: Skiperoo

Apologies for lack of posts in the past week.

Did not get up to the energy from the first day of school (march 8th) on any days since.

Been sleeping at like 2100-2200

I had a temptation to ask higher beings for some energy just for the exams.

“You can have anything you want, as long as you want it more than anything.” ~ Naval Ravikant

Do I not want to fix sleep enough?

I haven’t gotten blood test, or called GP for allergy. (calling them now! on phone now as i type this!) filling in allergy and cortisol test form now

Day 76: Slep Sigh

On saturday sleep was from around 2300 (call) – 07:00, was super tired. But the call i had boosted energy by like 300%!

Super tired on sunday too. Think caffeine tolerant again. sigh, I think. SUPER tired from like 1300-1700 every day, napping shouldn’t be too hard when i try again.

Tired as i write this now at 0630 after morning workout. gonna try that this week. Also evening cold showers, which worked for Cold showers make me extrutiatingly itchy.

Day 75: Caffeine Withdrawal Ok

On Friday I forgot to take caffeine in the morning at all and I expected the withdrawal to be terrible but I was actually.. okay? Quite tired but nothing very expected and I did not feel miserable and hopeless. Probably uncoincidentally i was around other human beings.

In getting off screens at 20:30 and waking up at 0630 going to sleep early (earlier than 2200) has been surprisingly easy, it being hard to even stay awake since just lying there in bed thinking / reading / listening to music is so cozy and then i’m out. Good extreme challenge!

But still feeling crappy. When challenge over i may move no screens to like 2100 or 2100 and sleep slightly later but still wake up at 0630 and see how effects

Day 74: Timeskip

Doing no screens after 20:30 challenge and had been doing alien mechanic last thing before slepe on phone so that’s why no posts, sorry.

Back at school, waking up at 0630, 150mg caffeien, 25mg at 1300

monday was great, tuesday very much brain-sludge

but i’m sleeping so early. Gettinginto bed and just lying there happily pondering at like 2100 without forcing myself, just wanting to rest, and then dozing off swiftly.

Not feeling lovely rn at 07:00 though. Brain sludge. take iron? think i will.

Afternoon caffeine makes whole problem about 60% better i think.